Elite? Or Just Neat?

The word elite gets thrown around a lot when referencing the best quarterbacks in the NFL these days. There are some names that are universally agreed upon as having elite status. Rogers, Brady, Breese, Ben, and the Manning brothers all fit that mold. Then, there are the play callers that everyone likes to say "are in the conversation". Guys like Phillip Rivers. The talent is there, the big arm, the numbers, etc. "he just needs to win the big one." Let's stop. Right now. Can we take Philip Rivers out of that conversation please. You can not be an elite quarterback if you have games two or three times a year that you are so bad that the other 52 players on the roster can not make up for your mistakes. Same with Jay Cutler and Mike Vick. Do they have the potential to take over a game, put their team on their back and win the game? Absolutely. But that is just potential. In big spots, do you step up or collapse?

United Stated of Honey Boo Boo

Is it possible that there is an organization out there that has put a long term plan in place to make America dumber with each new reality show season?  Think about it.  In the next few hundred misspelled words, I will shed light on the secret plan I have uncovered to destroy America. It does not include terrorists, weapons of mass destruction, or communism. It's much more brilliant than that.  Below I will uncover the plan of the Secret Organization to Destroy America (SODA). And they are doing it with ease.  

Reality tv is dumb.  Now we have regressed from competitions like American Idol and Dancing with the Stars to shows like the Jersey Shore.  We now reward stupidity with millions and millions of dollars. The Secret Organization to Destroy America (SODA) decided that America loves rediculousness SO much that we should take it a step further.  Enter Honey Boo Boo.  The only show filmed in English (sort of) that needs subtitles. It's an brain-cell-killing show on TLC (really?? The Learning Channel?) about a beauty pageant contestant that goes by the name Honey Boo Boo Child.  After loading up on her sugar and caffeine laced "Go-Go Juice", she prances around the stage in short shorts pointing at her gut.  The ONLY explanation for this making national tv is that someone is trying to make us dumber.  And America keeps watching, buying right into their evil plan.  We soak up every brain cramping minute of entertainment, slowly killing our brain cells and lowering our IQ 30 minutes at a time.  Then, when we are numb and dumb, they move in and the USA is no more.  It will be a slow death, and by the time we realize what happened, it will be too late.

So the question at hand is this: Who is behind the SODA? I offer up three possible, and likely candidates.
A). George W. Bush -Let's look at the evidence. Bush is from the south. He has already had his own reality show, "Little Bush". And he is accused of behind everything else wrong with the country anyway, so why not this.

2). The Taliban- It's pretty obvious when you think about it. They do not allow women to show their skin, so who would think that they were behind a show centered around beauty pageants?  Terrorism didn't defeat our country with violence, so they needed a new angle.  And with Bin Laden out of the picture, the younger generation of terrorists can finally do things their way.

The real answer is:
D).Google.- That's right. Who do you think found these people? 

You've been warned.